Why Sweat the Large Stuff When You Can Sweat the Small Stuff?

In this crazy world, there’s a lot to worry about. Personal stuff like work, family, job, finances….but also global issues. Poverty! Global Warming! The Obesity Crisis! It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin.

But y’know what’s enough to make my head only slightly spin? Worrying about minutiae. A hangnail here. A broken zipper there. THOSE things are within reach, and easy to grasp, mentally speaking.

Like price tags that leave residue on their host product. WHY? Why make stickers whose adhesive isn’t easily removable? Manufacturers — you’ve spawned an entire fringe industry for Goo Gone just based on this illogical matter. And you know what? Part of me secretly loves this whole scenario, since here’s an issue I CAN resolve!

So I say to that brilliant doctor who wrote the ever-popular books “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff….and It’s All Small Stuff” — LET ME sweat the small stuff. It’s really all I can handle. And as this brilliant Buzzfeed post proves, there’s SO MUCH glorious universal small stuff to sweat. Big stuff is really so five minutes ago.

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So 27 Seconds Ago

I worry about being so five minutes ago….apparently five minutes as a length of time is so five minutes ago. Five minutes ago, meet 27 seconds ago, who just ousted ya (thank you AT&T):

Make Things A Funky Color, And People Eat It Up (Literally)

Ah. The ever-elusive Shamrock Shake (ok, now not that elusive anymore as it’s offered at Mickey D’s locations nationwide). Such a delicious special drink. Is it seasoned with four-leaf clovers? Made with a little leprechaun dust? Sprinkled with Irish magic?

No. It’s milkshake that’s mint with a tad of green food coloring. YOU CAN GET THEM PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE, ALWAYS. Hi, Baskin Robbins.

But it doesn’t matter. In a McDonald’s world of white McFlurries, a green anomaly IS like finding a four-leaf clover. Think about when we see green bagels on St. Patty’s day. The joy!! So funny! So weird!!

Why do we love this stuff?! I mean, it’s just COLOR, right?!

Wrong. Color represents risk (thank you for confirming, TEDActive 2012 and the amazing Color Project) — but one that people feel comfortable experimenting with. And why should color + food be any different? Plain things are so five minutes ago.

If I was opening a restaurant, hell – I suppose it’d behoove me to sell red and green chicken come holiday-time, pastel pork at Easter, and so on. But that’s meat, and that’s REALLY scary. I mean, isn’t everyone, like, totally vegetarian these days anyway? Or wait, is it gluten??

So maybe green eggs (sans ham) are a more palatable first step….

Jet Lag

SUCKS.

the end.

(written at wake-up time, aka 3:30AM)

Keeping Up is Too Damn Hard (unless it’s with the Kardashians)

I’m sorry, but I have a bone to pick. And it might even be with myself. As a “creative type” (in a creative profession) I’m constantly coming up with more ways to let consumers engage. ENGAGE. That ever-present marketing buzzword. More things for them to do. Always.

Oh, the bored consumer…….ever longing for things to do in This. Bored. Life.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m engaged already. Engaged enough. Over-engaged. Between tweeting, watching, texting, Whats App-ing, Skyping, blah-ing, blah-ing, yada yada yada-ing….I can hardly keep the hell up.  The Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, which only reminds me how many more movies I still need to see before Oscar-time. Each issue of Entertainment Weekly reminds me of all this new content hurdling my way. Each glance at the RSS feed reminds me of new blog posts waiting to be read. Can’t a gal just live??!

I mean, mostly I kid. I’m addicted to content consumption. And frankly, who isn’t?! No, I don’t think the earth will stop rotating if I don’t watch each Oscar selection before Feb 26th. But then how am I supposed to have a fighting chance in my Oscar pool?? These are life and death things, people.

Keeping up is just too damn hard. Maybe keeping up is so five minutes ago. Falling behind is the new black. Or maybe, I should just vow to keep up with (and ONLY with) the Kardashians. That seems manageable, no?

SUN SUN SUN

Sunny sky made with photoshop

Image via Wikipedia

….because when you don’t have it (hello NY winter), NOTHING is more amazing. You’d think I was born this morning and had never seen the sky (I’m visiting warmer pastures at the moment).

Winter is so five minutes ago. And even the Universe agrees.

 

 

 

Holiday Music is Like Last Year’s Bieber

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

Ok, holiday music used to be the JAM. I’d (secretly) start playing it in September — the warm, fluffy sounds of sleigh bells and twinkling ivories would coat my atmosphere with a warm familiarity more embracing than the most tender hug — a warm cocoon of familiarity that reassured me all was right in the world, and hey — Christmas was just around the corner! Springsteen says “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town!” Magic. Pure magic.

So why, this year, when I turn on Christmas music, do I want to shut it off almost immediately? A bizarre knee-jerk kind of reaction. Listening to it makes me feel like I’m enduring the aural equivalent of last year’s b-side Justin Bieber song. It sounds cheesy and overdone. This year, Christmas music has been like listening to old songs from mid-level blah bands. Where did the magic go for me? What on the earth happened? Has Christmas become so overproduced that it, too, is so five minutes ago? Or am I just becoming Bil Murray from Scrooged?

Or maybe, I need to NOT be listening to “Now That’s What I Call Christmas” which features Michael Bolton’s “Our Love is Like a Holiday.” Yes, that’s it. It’s my own fault for poor selection, really.

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