Wi-Fi in planes. It’s a “new” thing (relatively speaking, compared to the overall evolution of man). But when I say Wi-Fi, don’t jump to conclusions….I don’t mean actual internet access. I mean that you, the passenger, get to pay for the privilege of trying to connect to a spotty network for the duration of your flight. Sounds fun, right?

Here’s why it is the worst thing ever:

1. Hate paying for something that MIGHT work. Might not. Totally depends on the flight, weather, and a billion other variables out of your control.

2. Once you’re IN the game of trying to get it to work, you can’t let go. I mean, you payed for the goddamn thing. IT’S GONNA WORK IF IT KILLS YOU.

3. Wasted flight. An entire wasted flight.

4. We miss the days where you had an excuse to IGNORE the world on a flight. You’re in the sky? Need to reach me? Go f*ck yourself! Well, now. That ain’t true.

Wi-Fi may a recent addition to the skies, but it is already so five minutes ago. What next? Wi-Fi lining the ocean floor, so you can connect while scuba diving?