Ah. The ever-elusive Shamrock Shake (ok, now not that elusive anymore as it’s offered at Mickey D’s locations nationwide). Such a delicious special drink. Is it seasoned with four-leaf clovers? Made with a little leprechaun dust? Sprinkled with Irish magic?

No. It’s milkshake that’s mint with a tad of green food coloring. YOU CAN GET THEM PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE, ALWAYS. Hi, Baskin Robbins.

But it doesn’t matter. In a McDonald’s world of white McFlurries, a green anomaly IS like finding a four-leaf clover. Think about when we see green bagels on St. Patty’s day. The joy!! So funny! So weird!!

Why do we love this stuff?! I mean, it’s just COLOR, right?!

Wrong. Color represents risk (thank you for confirming, TEDActive 2012 and the amazing Color Project) — but one that people feel comfortable experimenting with. And why should color + food be any different? Plain things are so five minutes ago.

If I was opening a restaurant, hell – I suppose it’d behoove me to sell red and green chicken come holiday-time, pastel pork at Easter, and so on. But that’s meat, and that’s REALLY scary. I mean, isn’t everyone, like, totally vegetarian these days anyway? Or wait, is it gluten??

So maybe green eggs (sans ham) are a more palatable first step….