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Few things in life are more frustrating than needing to get in touch with a customer service rep and being filtered through automated recordings which are beyond so five minutes ago. In this day and age of tweeting, texting, this-ing and that-ing, idle time is TORTURE to ADD-addled folks like me.

I love that companies tend to hide the option of connecting with a live person until at least six key-presses deep — a good 10 to 15 minutes of phone time invested. And these days, pressing “O” unfortunately doesn’t get you to a person either. So by the time I actually DO connect with Joe Phone Rep, I’m wound up like a toy robot ready to go buckwild.

Customer Service Rep: Hello. Can I get your full name this evening?

Me: THANK GOD I FINALLY GOT SOMEONE LIVE. I WAS ABOUT TO DIE FROM IMPATIENCE. (blurts out name incredibly fast)

Customer Service Rep: I didn’t understand that? S as in Sam?

Me: (blurts out name again fast) How did you not understand that? I’m in a rush. RAHHHHHHHHR.

Okay, I actually am a lot nicer on the line — firm but friendly, as they say. But in my head, I’m like a liger waiting to attack.

If I had someone live on the line from the beginning, all would be solved. So why hide your customer service reps deep in a phone labyrinth? Riddle me that, Joker McGee.

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