So a couple years ago EVERYONE became a foodie (Seriously, who the hell isn’t a foodie these days? Loving food is almost getting to be like the poor man’s choice of hobby. I throw it in the same category as saying you love to “travel” and answering that you’re a “people person” when asked for your strengths in an interview). With so many goddamn foodies out there, everyone also seemed to buy cameras and start food blogs and take lots and lots and lots of close-up shots of food. Since we’re a nation of fat people (statistically speaking of course…NO judgement laden in that statement, wink wink) we said hey – forget about real porn, this food photography is pretty damn drool-worthy. Let’s ogle that at less risk of malware infecting our computers.

Then sophisticated food porn spun out of control and generated the Hustler of food blogs, like “This Is Why You’re Fat.”

Then Michelle Obama told us that being fat was nothing to be proud of, and hey – we gotta fix that. So bye-bye “This Is Why You’re Fat.”

But don’t despair, food porn addicts. With the advent of Instagram, we now can turn ANYTHING into drool-worthy photography (for better or for worse – some think worse). I love spamming my own camera with hundreds of photos of the same damn thing. Visiting a cool forest? Don’t just take one photo. TAKE PHOTOS OF EVERYTHING. Bam -  leaf porn (especially stunning in the fall). You can BINGE on picture-taking because Instagram offers a billion different lenses to make each picture look more drool-worthy than the next. You could even be photographing jars. Now you have hipster porn. You have vintage looking cool jars, not just goddamn dirty jars. See? So easy. Plain photography is the new retro. But hey, isn’t retro getting to be so five minutes ago?